Memories vs Garbage

The problem with being an hoarder is that the longer you hoard, the less clear the line between trash and souvenirs.

All my life I’ve saved mementos. I still have my elementary school notebooks and projects because I’ve scribbled notes and short-stories in them. My mom is the complete opposite. She loves to throw things away; especially items that are not hers.

What got me thinking about this? Well, every season I have this dilemma of clearing out my storage and pruning my closet and bookshelves to make room for new items. But of course that doesn’t happen. I still have a garbage bag full of clothes to be donated. That I still cannot part with because what if I need that red corduroy pant to make me feel confident one day? Never mind that I have another red corduroy pant and a burgundy one too in my closet.  I have a problem.  So I cleaned and folded away my summer wardrobe & brought out my winter coats and sweaters. And I still have that bag of clothes to be donated, only now add in some tee shirts.

I don’t delete pictures. I have two harddrives dedicated to video and images. There are some that are out of focused or multiples, but I still keep them.

Thank goodness for ebooks & public libraries because there will never be enough space for books. (Oh, I do love the smell of books though. And the feel of paper as I get ready to turn the page, anticipating the next scene.)

This whole post started because I was reminded of this one friend I had. He was one of my best friends. We are no longer friends. We didn’t even get to drift apart, the friendship just ended because…contact was no longer feasible between us. Tonight, I just thought about him and our friendship, the three of us having a grand ol’time. And it dawned on me, I don’t even remember his phone number. Neither his home number nor his cell.

And the reason for my post title: I looked into my email archives. I thought perhaps in my hoarding tendencies, I’d’ve saved his number. Nope. It seemed like when I deleted his numbers from my phone, I also deleted them from my email. BUT! I saved all the correspondences from him. And I just spent the last hour reading them on and off. Every time I thought I got to the end of the search results (I searched his name), there is another page. I’m up to results 301-320 of many.

And we had some lovely times. Some thoughtful moments. And downright silliness. He listened to me when I was halfway across the world feeling sorry for myself. He confided in me when he was having relationship troubles. It was an easy, no judgement, truly platonic friendship.

<half an hour goes by>

Facebook really makes it easy to catch up/stalk people you know. And he completed his bachelor’s degree! I’m so happy for him because that was always a tender subject.

After all this, I don’t think I will ever delete those emails. To me, everything are memories.

Search Total: 58 pages, 1,160 messages.

P.S. I had planned for this blog to be happy and peppy, what a great way to start this off!



About viiixvi

Just call me Mortie.
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